First Lessons in Romania

I made it to Romania! 

The view from my bedroom at sunset. 

My first couple of hours here has been almost perfect, especially because I have a beautiful view of the city from my bedroom. I have a balcony on the top floor that looks down over old mansions and adorable cafés. The weather has been kind to me so I can sit outside and feel the warm sun on my feet and the cool breeze through my hair. And a cup of espresso is necessary everyday. But as I said, it’s almost perfect. Let me explain… 

First cup of Espresso (ever!). No cream and no sugar needed.

During the last leg of my trip to Bucharest, I had a layover in Frankfurt, Germany and met up with my mom’s friend and 4-year old daughter before boarding a crowded plane. I sat in a row with a young couple. They were definitely in love, but I couldn’t understand a word they said, (I think they were talking in Romanian) and I’m glad for it. Their “puppy love” was disgustingly sweet but I was surprised that I was so tired from the trip that I managed to sleep while they yammered on.

Once we landed in Romania, I walked with my mom’s friend and her daughter to the baggage claim. We hired a porter and he didn’t understand English, but he was very eager to help none-the-less. We grabbed our bags and then met my mom and dad. My mom’s friend parted ways when we hailed our taxis but promised to meet up again.

In the taxi my dad was eager to get me accustomed to everything in Bucharest. The first lesson: communicating with people. Just like the porter, the taxi driver didn’t speak English so we had to communicate in broken English and the bit of Romanian that my parents knew. Although Romanians learn English in school it doesn’t mean that they have a chance to use it. Since I only know English, I am already labeled and possibly targeted for trouble if I am not careful. (I’ll explain more about that later.)

The taxi ride to my parent’s apartment was a great, eye-opening experience about life here in Romania. The taxi driver wove his way through fairly heavy traffic. His brakes were well used and in great working-condition I must say! One second we’re flying through the streets, another second we’re stopped because a car in front of us is trying to park or turn a corner. I’m not at all worried about the type of driving because I took taxis in Beijing and Singapore, where everything is cramped and it’s normal to get within centimeters close to the car next to you. But one thing my father did warn me about is if the taxi does get into a fender-bender be ready for the driver to get into a physical fight.

We make it to my parent’s building, (which they say it’s in the center of the center of Bucharest), the taxi driver drove up onto the sidewalk and parked the car. This is beyond normal; it’s practically a courtesy to park your car on the sidewalks probably because the roads are so narrow. However, as a pedestrian it can be quite a nuisance. My dad explained that Romanians are still very new to the idea of personal ownership of cars. Before the Romanian Revolution in 1989, only communist leaders were able to own cars and banned everyone else from having their own car. {Still looking for a reference so don't quote me on that...} Now that that ban is lifted practically everyone owns a car and there isn’t a whole lot of parking available. So people get inventive with their parking. Somehow it still manages to work out.

Street parking close to the building that holds opera concerts

Street parking in front of La Mama (the first restaurant I ate at in Romania)

I have been here for a couple of days now and I’ve enjoyed the food, the hospitality, and the beautiful weather. I love the journey so far, but I heard about the corruption and crime that bubbles up in the city from time to time. So I’ll be a sponge and observe. The worst thing one can do when traveling is be naïve. I’ll let you know what I’ll find out about Bucharest, Romania.

My Next Chapter

One more day. Just one more day. You can make it... 

I might be in shock still because I continue a routine as if I’m not leaving this town. Yes, I know I will be boarding a plane for Germany and then on to Romania. Yes, I have packed a lot of clothes for all the seasons. Yes, I have notified most of my friends and given last hugs goodbye. And yet my ticket reads one departure flight and nothing else. I’m leaving without a return flight. What am I doing? I’m letting go of any form of expectations and jumping into the unknown.

One of my friend’s relatives kept asking me when I was coming back as if it was unheard of to buy a one-way ticket. I kept repeating the same response: “I don’t know.” And actually I’m okay with that. Life has taken me in so many directions that I truly don’t know what will happen next (be it career, relationships, and even dinner decisions). It may come off as reckless and indecisive (as frustrating as a man at the cash register who doesn’t know what to order), but this is TRAVELING we are talking about. To plan a trip to the smallest detail means that you will miss the beauty of a journey.

My whole life I have been disappointed countless times because the reality never matched my expectations. Some might argue that my expectations are blinded by rose-colored glasses (like the time I thought I could do the Eat Pray Love thing in Italy) or that my dreams were too far-fetched (like the possibility that I would become the CEO of an international development firm). However, I must argue that the reason for the misalignment of expectations to reality is that I tend to have bad timing. I don’t live in a world that goes by the 9-5 work week. I don’t have to drive a car during rush hour. I don’t have obligations set by a spouse or family. I am a free spirit. So when I want to do something with friends I am free to do what I want, but it is rare when they are free to join me. Of which, it hurts a lot when I plan on hanging out with a friend but then they cancel last minute. But putting aside the fact that forgetting or canceling plans last minute is a form of disrespect, I know I need to remind myself that I am in a different place in my life… And it might be time to get new friends.

When you plan a trip you form ideas of what will happen on the plane, once you land, and all the activities you will be doing before you have to board that plane ride back. That is a trip. What I am going to start tomorrow is a journey. I have not planned on places I want to see or people I want to meet up with. I have only packed things that will last me for 4 months at the most. I will have a bit of a safety net through family, but for the most part (spiritually and mentally) I will be on my own.

I’ve actually taken a journey like this before (to Singapore), but I had more time to coordinate and say goodbye. In the end, though, I returned. I did not like the place I was living in and the people were not the kind of people I wanted to be around with for a long time. I had the opportunity to jump on a sailboat and sail around Southeast Asia, prolonging my journey, but I chickened out. I felt defeated when I came back because I know I am a traveler. So now I have a second chance with a couple of adjustments. Romania is not ideal, but it’s a start and it’s exciting! I hope to get a better prospective of the activity that is occurring in Eastern Europe. I want to drink coffee out in snowy weather, the way Europeans do. I can see myself dancing to techno music in a castle, like they do in Germany. I bought booties to look fashionable like the Italians and French. I was told there are bookstores that are humungous like the one in Beauty and the Beast… These are my expectations. Sadly, I believe that they will not come to fruition, so I need to clear my mind of it. I know my future-self will thank me.  

When I leave tomorrow, I’m stepping into a new arena. I don’t know what I will be doing. I don’t know who I will be hanging out with. I don’t know when, or even if I will be returning. All I know is that I’ll be planning as I go. Taking each step with confidence and breathing in a brand-new day. Listening to any traveling advice and waiting for a sign to tell me it’s time to move on. Letting my heart and soul grow stronger with each new experience. And that is the beauty of a journey. 

Not so Zippy

Taking a break from the "Is it Safe" Series...

While doing my daily browse of today’s news, I came across an article about the link between car access and poverty reduction. The article implied that poorer families would benefit more with a car of their own instead of just relying on public transportation. Easy access to a car can increase chances of having a good job, provide reliability in emergency situations, and save time and energy which, in turn, can reduce health issues. The problem is that cities, like Washington DC, are angling more towards public transportation and bike sharing.  So what does that mean for the poor areas of the city?

I am not a keen observer of studies about poverty, but it does peak my interest from time to time. When I started to discuss the article with my mother, pointing out the problem of the new transportation movement towards bikes and public transportation, my mother reminded me about Zipcars and other car sharing options. Since I have a car of my own I haven’t had the need to look into the option. After looking at Zipcars’ website, I found out that it is pretty revolutionary… 

Zipcar is a car sharing company that operates in several major cities in the US and Canada, as well as UK and Spain. You can find most of the reserved cars at public transportation hubs like subway stations. The company is pretty tech-savvy so you can make your reservations through mobile apps (just as cool as using the Uber taxi app), but if you don’t have a smart phone you can call as well. Individuals, companies, and universities can sign up for membership. With membership, you get a lot of discounts on entertainment, business start-ups, and free parking (in certain cities). The company boasts that they help a person save an average of $500/month in car expenses because Zipcar takes care of gas, insurance, and minor car maintenance. (However, damages to the car may cost up to $750.) Rates and membership fees are about $8-10/hour (or $84 for the day) but with membership of $6/month the reservation rate is a little bit lower. 

For a person who is on or below the poverty line, Zipcar might not be a beneficial option in my opinion. Although the person does not have to take care of maintenance, insurance, or gas, (and sometimes parking), the person still has to have a cushion of $750 for possible fees. Zipcar charges a fee for things like late returns, low gas (below the 1/4 mark), smoking in the car, and key or Zipcard (your membership card) replacement. There are also damage fees like flat tires, dents, scratches, and third party damages if the car was in an accident on your watch. Another thing about damage fees, if you reserved the car in an unavoidable event, like a flood, hail storm, or hurricane, you still need to pay for any damages to the Zipcar. The fees are not outrageous, but for a person who might be living from paycheck to paycheck it could be. A person who borrows a Zipcar needs to be meticulous in their plans in order to be cost efficient. You can’t just get in a Zipcar and go; You have to reserve ahead of time, be prepared to fill the tank with gas, and return the car to a designated spot before time runs out on your reservation. A person who lives every day in a organized, thought-out schedule probably will be able to use the Zipcar without problem, but I’m concerned that a person who lives in an unstable environment, like those in poor areas, might struggle with the regulations. 

Cities are pushing for more transportation sharing options. Public transportation, bike and car sharing, and upscale taxi service are all good things for a city in my opinion. However, the article in the Washington Post makes a good point about car access and poverty reduction. As I have researched, it has become easier to use a shared car in cities like Washington DC but for those with low income it is a struggle. 

Blah, blah, blah... IT'S COLD!

Wow. It’s 2014. Almost the one year anniversary of my solo trip to Singapore - a step to become independent. Unfortunately, I returned. I was broke, heartbroken, and a little bit broken-in. I learned a lot on my trip about being alone and left to my own devices, but that was to expected. What I didn’t expect was what I found when I returned home… But that’s not why I am writing today. Today is all about how uncool the cold weather is! (Hehehe)

OMG it’s cold outside! I put on at least two layers of clothing, such as socks, scarves, pants (tights or leggings underneath), and I still feel the wind go through me. I know I shouldn’t complain too much because I know it’s worse up in Canada and New York. It’s not easy living in cold weather. Just the other day my neighbor’s house flooded and iced over because her water pipes broke and I hear so many sad stories about house fires due to space heaters. I can’t wait for it to warm back up, but until then I’m grateful for heat in my house and a working oven. 

The cold weather seems bleak but here are some things to brighten your chilly days:

1. Wearing layers - As I said before I wear at least two of everything. I may look ridiculous walking into the office with a granny-style sweater, two scarves wrapped around my face and a coat so long it touches my ankles, but I’M WARM! 
2. Bake food for the week - I say forget about losing weight right now and put on some hibernation fat. Eat, eat, eat! This is probably one of my favorite things to do during the winter because, not only does the oven warm up your house, you also get some awesome treats while staying inside. 
3. Read - Settle into your bed or a nice chair next to a fireplace or a couch with a Snuggie and read SOMETHING. You could read a magazine, a newspaper, the Hunger Games series, a blog(!), but catch up on your reading. While watching TV or an online video might be nice, you will benefit more if you use that brain of yours and imagine what’s happening in the story. Blah, blah, blah. There’s a lot more statistics proving the benefits of reading but the point is when the weather warms up I bet you won’t have enough time to sit down to read. 
4. Play games - If you have children or some form of a family, this is a no brainer. For those who are young, single, and or don’t really want to play with their family you should still look into playing a game. Luminosity is my favorite thing to play, but board games, cards, word puzzles, Wii games, and the like are ways to keep you from catching cabin fever. Another game I like to play: hiding the TV remote. :-P
5. And finally my last suggestion: take pictures - Who knows when the next polar vortex will hit, but those memories of the ugly sweater contest at work, your first burnt batch of peanut butter cookies, and the moments you had playing your own version of the Hunger Games monopoly-style will be forever remembered in pictures. 

   

   My bedroom window during the "Polar Vortex 2014"

   
   
   
   

Yakkity yak! Don't come back!

For a couple of weeks now, I have been reading this book called Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. It's on the suggested reading guide for the Foreign Service Officer Test and since I am taking it in a couple of months it would be beneficial for me to take a look. The book mostly points out things that we do wrong when we try to analyze something quickly, but when we make a quick judgement that results in something good we call that “intuition.” Gladwell tries to breakdown “intuition” so we can call upon it when necessary such as when working in an ER or out on a battlefield. I’ve read several chapters of “thin-slicing” (where you pick out defining factors of a situation), snap decisions, and spontaneity. I am determined to finish the book, but what gave me a huge lightbulb was the idea that to avoid complicating things keep it simple.

Remember those days in school when your teacher would ask you to write an essay? On several occasions I was docked points because my essays were long and mostly boring. Fair enough - I won’t want to read over 100 10-page papers either if they didn’t capture my interest. Then my teachers introduced me to the concept of KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid. Much of my writing was wordy so I quickly learned to omit and instill intrigue  Think of Hemingway; his signature writing was very simple and yet he was able to bring you into the story:

“A wine shop was open and I went in for some coffee. It smelled of early morning, of swept dust, spoons in coffee-glasses and the wet circles left by wine glasses.” 

How beautiful is that? It feels like I’m right there with him; walking into the shop, sitting in dust that hadn’t yet settled, and sipping from cups browned from countless uses. (That last sentence took me a while make it flow cause I’m no Ernest Hemingway.)

So this idea of keeping it simple [stupid] is brilliant! And I believe I can apply it to my dating rituals. Dating for me is a difficult concept to grasp and it upsets me when I go on a date. Though it is fun to meet new people, judgement is always on my back and it can be very painful in the end. I would love to just have a simple equation on how to meet your soulmate and I think I found it - KISS. 

In the movie P.S. I Love You, one of the main character’s best friends kept asking men 1) Are you single? 2) Are you strait? 3) Are you working? and then kissing them to see if there was a “spark.” It was funny to see how quickly she narrowed down the possibilities to finally find the man she would marry. She got RESULTS! What amazed me was that there is a similar affect that happens inside the ER, as described from Gladwell’s book, Blink. In order to quickly determine if someone’s chest pain is life threatening a man named Lee Goldman came up with a process to just ask three simple questions and use a heart reader. Then, from the results, doctors were able to tell where patients should go for further diagnosis. This process cut down on time and money, which is exactly what everyone wants! And when it comes to dating, even though this is just a THEORY, I can imagine that you would save yourself from headaches, drama, and draining your wallet. 

So to put this plainly: Stop your yakking and just KISS. 

Alive. And with a new outlook!

Hello, again!

I have been away for almost three months now. Camping did not allow me easy access to post, nor did I have the energy to write a lot.

During my time at the all-girls camp in New Hampshire I became really in tuned with who I am and how I look to others. They say the voice of a child is probably the most truthful voice of reason, so working with children (and some adults who acted like children, not a bad thing though) was quite eye opening. I was surprised that I went through even more soul searching after my isolation in Singapore. However going from the separation of social communication to almost no privacy was, mentally, a war zone. I fought with myself almost every day as I tried to become a friendly bystander instead of a creepy stalker while working every day in the camp office. Children never remembered my name, but that wasn't too much of a hardship. What really brought me down was my socializing with the other staff members. You should take note: if you do not practice socializing daily, you will become "the loser."

Other duly noted epiphanies was my new goal of foreign service. I will be taking the test to become a foreign service officer, however I need to study like my life depends on it. (No joke. Technically it does.) Though I am not as "fresh" as the newly graduated Masters degree holders, I still should try out of principal. I went to school for International Studies - a degree that is popular, but has so many career branches - so it was foolish for me to not pursue it further. However, when I did graduate college I was not in the mindset of making a life, I was more into making a moment. Now I see I DO have the potential to make a life for myself, something that has goals and nice shinny things! All things I don't need a husband or a family to accomplish. I am not a dependent person, no one in my family is, so here I am DECLARING  a new goal, (that is obtainable), to become a foreign service officer. BAM!

...

The night before the last day of camp, everyone on camp was given a "wish boat." We had to write our wish on it and when the sun had set we would sing at the campfire (at our beach front) and set the wish boat into the water with a candle. My wish, which was hastily made, was "Never give up. Always try." I wrote this several times on the wish boat to get my point across. (To who? I don't know.) Just know that I learned at camp that thinking too much can get you into trouble, and a spit second thought can have the most clarity.

Tolls tolls TOLLS

I got a new job for the summer in New Hampshire. Its an office position at a summer camp for girls. I was so excited to find out that I would be working there because I miss camping in the woods and I felt that I needed to get out of my parents house.

Driving up to New Hampshire is no problem for me. I would use my parents' old car and have it there with me for emergencies. Plus I've been craving a good road trip... Even if I'm by myself again.

So I'm already half way there. I'll be spending the night in upstate New York with family and then finishing the journey in the morning. The original route that I had planned was to go through Pennsylvania, visit a friend, and avoid the tolls. This morning, however, I woke up to a text telling me that my friend wouldn't be home when I got to their place so I, without thinking, plugged in my relatives' address in New York and found myself encountering one toll after another, after another! I have already spent at least $23.25 on tolls alone! And now I freak out if I see the purple Eazy-Pass sign (a electronic device that docks the amount from your credit card for the tolls). I do not have an Eazy-Pass because I don't travel toll roads often enough to need one. So now you know why I go crazy about it... And to top it all off... On a highway to Albany I saw a toll booth sign. Not wanting to pay a fine for missing a toll payment I drive to the booths. It was for trucks only. WHO'S HEARD OF TRUCKS ONLY TOLL BOOTHS? Apparently the girl who lives in a city and doesn't drive much.

Welcome to the open roads in America.

P.S. a sign on one of the highways politely reminded me that calling 911 is free. Finally something free!

What the hell is Water?

I saw a man the other day walking down the sidewalk. He was heavily dressed and carried two large, stuffed bags while pushing a cart that looked like it was crammed with his belongings. His salt and pepper hair hung limply on his oily face. He looked tired, but still showed courtesy towards other people walking on the sidewalk with him. All these indications points to this man being homeless.

As the weather turns into a more summery climate, you will see an increase of homeless people walking the streets. I know homeless shelters are still open to all who need it, but most homeless people will wander the streets in search of a way out of their deep chasm of life’s hardships. They will stand on street corners asking for money from anyone with ears. Most of the time, (and I do this too), people will just look forward as they walk by to avoid the awkward eye contact and the cheap lie of “I’m sorry. I don’t have any cash on me.” I don’t always do this, and sometimes I even go out of my way to find a dollar for a person who sits on the streets desperately begging for some charity, but sometimes it is necessary to keep walking in order to get by in a large city. No one is a saint every day of his or her life.

May is the month where college and university graduates listen to commencement speeches about what they need to be aware of as they take their shinny new degrees into the “real world.” I like listening to these speeches because they provide self-motivation and memories that one may have forgotten during their own graduation from school. Nostalgia sometimes gets the best of me and I cry like a baby, missing the good ol’ days of less responsibility. Other times I find great inspiration…

There is this one speech titled “This is water” by David Foster Wallace given to the graduating class of 2005 at Kenyon College. The whole speech is relatable and poetic. He draws you into the world of “reality” and gives you the option of changing your thought process.