Dated: 9 Feb 2013
This morning my grandmother and I left the house early, so early that the sun's rays hadn't touched the ground. We boarded the bus to Marina Bay and got off just inside of the business district area. (You can tell its the business district by the electronic gateways that tolls each vehicle that goes through.) Mama took me into a mall that looked like it was still closed. It was 7:30am on a Saturday so I was hesitant to go in. We want up an escalator that was not on and then she realized that the store she was looking for was closed. I followed Mama back outside and started looking for a different venue.
I didn't know where we were until we turned a corner. Earlier in the week we had gone to two temples go pray to the Goddess of Mercy to thank her for my safe journey, and around the corner was the two temples! So Mama was her to buy spiritual things for new years. We found a open stall that had apples with Chinese symbols and some other fruit. We bought some, but Mama needed more. She found another fruit stall that had a lot more fruits that she needed. We bought more fruits and some cakes that are specifically used for shrines. Then we stopped at a bakery that was barely open. Mama bought several cakes, buns, tarts, etc. all for the house shrine. I got a whiff of the morning's batch of pork buns and it made my mouth water. I hadn't had breakfast yet so I was hungry, but I wanted to make sure we got all the goods back home first.
Mama wanted to go into another shop to buy papers to burn for our ancestors, but it was also closed. So we went home and she had to buy the papers from a local vendor. I got a good workout carrying the bags of fruits and baked goods back home while she shopped for the papers.
When I got back to the apartment I was going to go off and get a quick breakfast at a nearby hawker center, but Mama appeared and put me to work. She wanted all the fruits wrapped in a special red paper that stains your hands and clothes. When I was finished wrapping Mama put all the fruits and baked goods together on plates and put it up on the shrine dedicated to the Goddess of Mercy and my grandfather's parents. When my grandmother was done arranging things she left to do more new years things and I was free to eat food!
I felt that it was time to go off on my own to a hawker center (a Singaporean food hub/cafeteria). My grandfather was hesitant to let me go off alone since it would be my first time ever, so he suggested a noodle shop that was close by, as in across the street so he could see me walk over there. I said I was good to go and started my solo journey in search of food. When I got to the noodle shop the woman there told me that they were out of food. That was odd because it was 10am on a Saturday and all the other shops were closed or closing too. This did not give me a red flag, but off I went again looking for a bowl of noodles. I went by a McDonalds, and I was so close to giving in and eating Western/American food, but I told myself that I need to be more bold. So I kept going. I went down the market that usually was packed and then it hit me - it is New Year's Eve! Who wants to work on New Year's Eve? No one. So now it made sense why I was having trouble finding a simple noodle shop. I did finally find one, but I was so scared I was going to order something wrong. The woman taking orders spoke English to me only and Chinese to everyone else. It was helpful, but I still ordered the simplest thing on the menu: fishball noodle soup. I quickly took my food and got a table without getting any condiments for my soup, but I was nervous and didn't want to get up again. A drink seller asked me what I wanted to drink and I asked for water. When she brought me the water I had to pay her $1.20 but I only had a $10 on me. She chuckled as if to say that's OK. She gave me back change and I went back to eating my very simple meal.
Thinking back on my life, I have rarely done things on my own. People probably feel that they are helping me by guiding me through every little task, but now that I am a woman, it frightens me when I have to be on my own for something new. My aunt has given me a quote about this though - "the scariest moment is always just before you start."
Maybe the next time I go on my own I'll order something more interesting.
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