Yakkity yak! Don't come back!

For a couple of weeks now, I have been reading this book called Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. It's on the suggested reading guide for the Foreign Service Officer Test and since I am taking it in a couple of months it would be beneficial for me to take a look. The book mostly points out things that we do wrong when we try to analyze something quickly, but when we make a quick judgement that results in something good we call that “intuition.” Gladwell tries to breakdown “intuition” so we can call upon it when necessary such as when working in an ER or out on a battlefield. I’ve read several chapters of “thin-slicing” (where you pick out defining factors of a situation), snap decisions, and spontaneity. I am determined to finish the book, but what gave me a huge lightbulb was the idea that to avoid complicating things keep it simple.

Remember those days in school when your teacher would ask you to write an essay? On several occasions I was docked points because my essays were long and mostly boring. Fair enough - I won’t want to read over 100 10-page papers either if they didn’t capture my interest. Then my teachers introduced me to the concept of KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid. Much of my writing was wordy so I quickly learned to omit and instill intrigue  Think of Hemingway; his signature writing was very simple and yet he was able to bring you into the story:

“A wine shop was open and I went in for some coffee. It smelled of early morning, of swept dust, spoons in coffee-glasses and the wet circles left by wine glasses.” 

How beautiful is that? It feels like I’m right there with him; walking into the shop, sitting in dust that hadn’t yet settled, and sipping from cups browned from countless uses. (That last sentence took me a while make it flow cause I’m no Ernest Hemingway.)

So this idea of keeping it simple [stupid] is brilliant! And I believe I can apply it to my dating rituals. Dating for me is a difficult concept to grasp and it upsets me when I go on a date. Though it is fun to meet new people, judgement is always on my back and it can be very painful in the end. I would love to just have a simple equation on how to meet your soulmate and I think I found it - KISS. 

In the movie P.S. I Love You, one of the main character’s best friends kept asking men 1) Are you single? 2) Are you strait? 3) Are you working? and then kissing them to see if there was a “spark.” It was funny to see how quickly she narrowed down the possibilities to finally find the man she would marry. She got RESULTS! What amazed me was that there is a similar affect that happens inside the ER, as described from Gladwell’s book, Blink. In order to quickly determine if someone’s chest pain is life threatening a man named Lee Goldman came up with a process to just ask three simple questions and use a heart reader. Then, from the results, doctors were able to tell where patients should go for further diagnosis. This process cut down on time and money, which is exactly what everyone wants! And when it comes to dating, even though this is just a THEORY, I can imagine that you would save yourself from headaches, drama, and draining your wallet. 

So to put this plainly: Stop your yakking and just KISS. 

Alive. And with a new outlook!

Hello, again!

I have been away for almost three months now. Camping did not allow me easy access to post, nor did I have the energy to write a lot.

During my time at the all-girls camp in New Hampshire I became really in tuned with who I am and how I look to others. They say the voice of a child is probably the most truthful voice of reason, so working with children (and some adults who acted like children, not a bad thing though) was quite eye opening. I was surprised that I went through even more soul searching after my isolation in Singapore. However going from the separation of social communication to almost no privacy was, mentally, a war zone. I fought with myself almost every day as I tried to become a friendly bystander instead of a creepy stalker while working every day in the camp office. Children never remembered my name, but that wasn't too much of a hardship. What really brought me down was my socializing with the other staff members. You should take note: if you do not practice socializing daily, you will become "the loser."

Other duly noted epiphanies was my new goal of foreign service. I will be taking the test to become a foreign service officer, however I need to study like my life depends on it. (No joke. Technically it does.) Though I am not as "fresh" as the newly graduated Masters degree holders, I still should try out of principal. I went to school for International Studies - a degree that is popular, but has so many career branches - so it was foolish for me to not pursue it further. However, when I did graduate college I was not in the mindset of making a life, I was more into making a moment. Now I see I DO have the potential to make a life for myself, something that has goals and nice shinny things! All things I don't need a husband or a family to accomplish. I am not a dependent person, no one in my family is, so here I am DECLARING  a new goal, (that is obtainable), to become a foreign service officer. BAM!

...

The night before the last day of camp, everyone on camp was given a "wish boat." We had to write our wish on it and when the sun had set we would sing at the campfire (at our beach front) and set the wish boat into the water with a candle. My wish, which was hastily made, was "Never give up. Always try." I wrote this several times on the wish boat to get my point across. (To who? I don't know.) Just know that I learned at camp that thinking too much can get you into trouble, and a spit second thought can have the most clarity.

Tolls tolls TOLLS

I got a new job for the summer in New Hampshire. Its an office position at a summer camp for girls. I was so excited to find out that I would be working there because I miss camping in the woods and I felt that I needed to get out of my parents house.

Driving up to New Hampshire is no problem for me. I would use my parents' old car and have it there with me for emergencies. Plus I've been craving a good road trip... Even if I'm by myself again.

So I'm already half way there. I'll be spending the night in upstate New York with family and then finishing the journey in the morning. The original route that I had planned was to go through Pennsylvania, visit a friend, and avoid the tolls. This morning, however, I woke up to a text telling me that my friend wouldn't be home when I got to their place so I, without thinking, plugged in my relatives' address in New York and found myself encountering one toll after another, after another! I have already spent at least $23.25 on tolls alone! And now I freak out if I see the purple Eazy-Pass sign (a electronic device that docks the amount from your credit card for the tolls). I do not have an Eazy-Pass because I don't travel toll roads often enough to need one. So now you know why I go crazy about it... And to top it all off... On a highway to Albany I saw a toll booth sign. Not wanting to pay a fine for missing a toll payment I drive to the booths. It was for trucks only. WHO'S HEARD OF TRUCKS ONLY TOLL BOOTHS? Apparently the girl who lives in a city and doesn't drive much.

Welcome to the open roads in America.

P.S. a sign on one of the highways politely reminded me that calling 911 is free. Finally something free!

What the hell is Water?

I saw a man the other day walking down the sidewalk. He was heavily dressed and carried two large, stuffed bags while pushing a cart that looked like it was crammed with his belongings. His salt and pepper hair hung limply on his oily face. He looked tired, but still showed courtesy towards other people walking on the sidewalk with him. All these indications points to this man being homeless.

As the weather turns into a more summery climate, you will see an increase of homeless people walking the streets. I know homeless shelters are still open to all who need it, but most homeless people will wander the streets in search of a way out of their deep chasm of life’s hardships. They will stand on street corners asking for money from anyone with ears. Most of the time, (and I do this too), people will just look forward as they walk by to avoid the awkward eye contact and the cheap lie of “I’m sorry. I don’t have any cash on me.” I don’t always do this, and sometimes I even go out of my way to find a dollar for a person who sits on the streets desperately begging for some charity, but sometimes it is necessary to keep walking in order to get by in a large city. No one is a saint every day of his or her life.

May is the month where college and university graduates listen to commencement speeches about what they need to be aware of as they take their shinny new degrees into the “real world.” I like listening to these speeches because they provide self-motivation and memories that one may have forgotten during their own graduation from school. Nostalgia sometimes gets the best of me and I cry like a baby, missing the good ol’ days of less responsibility. Other times I find great inspiration…

There is this one speech titled “This is water” by David Foster Wallace given to the graduating class of 2005 at Kenyon College. The whole speech is relatable and poetic. He draws you into the world of “reality” and gives you the option of changing your thought process.

Opened up a can of Culture Shock!

I returned home to the East Coast of the US knowing that I was going to be shocked by changes, the weather and things I had forgotten. Some of the changes I noticed were new buildings and my parents' new diet. The weather, even though its spring time, was a lot colder than I would like. The things I had forgotten, though, that was the most surprising and I eventually got me agitated. It was my culture shock.

When I got home I wasted no time in visiting friends and putting away all my things from my trip. I wanted to settle in immediately so I could hit the ground running on my job search. I also spent some time with my car because I had missed driving so much. I was hesitant to drive at first because I didn't know if driving would be like riding a bicycle, but it was almost magical how my mind remembered every little quark about my old 1997 Toyota Camry. It was if I never left home.

My friends and I made plans for the weekend I got back. My jet lag was not a factor. Some of my friends had already gotten tickets for the DC101 Chili Cook-off and other friends had plans for Cinco de Mayo. My weekend was going to be packed! Saturday was the cook-off and it was a semi-cold day, but perfect for the rock concert. We all took the metro to get to RFK stadium and I went on and on about the Singapore train system. I think I might have looked a little arrogant at that point. I forgot the train schedule and how to get anywhere so I relied on my friends to point me in the right direction. It took us about an hour to get there because the Red line (the most popular one) was, again, under construction. We got to the stadium and got in line for the entrance, in line for the drink tickets, in line for the food and, finally, in line for the beer. (The lines for the porta-johns weren't so bad). We rocked out to Silversun Pickups and Soundgarden and took a lot of pictures for Facebook. When it was time to go home the temperature was chilly. (It was the only kind of I got that day because the cook-off ironically didn't have chili.) Leaving the stadium was difficult. We came from the parking lot in the back and had to walk all the way around the stadium to get to the Metro station. When the crowd got to a staircase that was the only way out of the parking lot I saw everyone slowing down and I blew up. I was definitely arrogant as I listed/said really loudly all the stereotypes of "bad" Americans. My friends were shocked at my outburst but when I explained to them it was my culture shock they understood and got me a hot dog after we left the stadium. I was still fuming by the time we got to the train station, but the hot dog satisfied me enough that I didn't have the urge to shout out more derogatory terms about Americans. 

I love my American heritage and I will always choose to be an American over any other citizenship, but sometimes culture shock can really make you distain everything around you. Even though you were fine with the same situation in the past, your new experiences in another country can make you erupt with frustration. No one had the same experience as you did so they aren't going to curse at the slow moving people going up the stairs and wonder why there isn't another way out of the parking lot. They are not going to loudly suggest that the stadium should have escalators built, which could create more jobs. No one is going to admit out loud that a lot of people at the stadium are non-athletic, obese people... Its a good thing I have friends who understand that.

My Last Day Sunrise

A couple of years ago I came across the notion that on the last day of your travel the sunrise is the most beautiful. From then on I have tried my best to catch the sunrise on my last day of any journey. Watching it makes you feel incredibly accomplished by seeing the rising of the early light on the last day.

I had wanted to come to Singapore for years, but was both too scared to make the financial jump and the suffer the insecurity of not having a job and being alone. But then after I went through another relationship breakup I finally realized that I had wasted enough of my life on "what ifs." So I started planning my trip. It felt like many things in my life came slowly into place after that - a vacant apartment, a cheap plane ticket (thanks to my mom), a finished job. However there was one thing that that didn't fall into place - a new relationship. I never felt so lonely in my whole life as I boarded the plane to Singapore via Japan. Yet, from that time alone I learned the most amazing things about myself that I will never forget or regret. But my trip is not just another "Eat Pray Love" autobiography, even though I did do a lot of similar soul-searching. This trip was the end to my quarter-life crisis. This trip was my answer from God. This trip told me who I am, past, present, future.

As the sun rises on this new day, my last day, I find myself kind of at a loss for words about this feeling I have. Its not really accomplishment, its not love, its not a belief. Its just warmth. Its what the sun does, right?

I am still unemployed. I have used up a good chunk of my savings. I might have created unnecessary stress and drama. I didn't do all that I had set out here to do, but... There is always tomorrow and another sunrise.

Thanks for reading. :-)

Look in a mirror and tell me what you see

A friend on Facebook recently posted an article that reviews Dove's campaign to alert women about their own perception of beauty. Dove has always been a strong advocate for women's true "beauty." However Dove's recent video shows that women are still unable to see themselves as others see themselves.

When I saw the video I, too, realized that I have the hardest time seeing the beauty in myself (last post excluded). When it gets down to it, you need to realize who you are and what is so special about yourself. This will help propel you forward in life. If you rely on others to tell you that you are beautiful or talented you are always going to rely on the help of others to move you forward.

Why yes, I did get a haircut today

I bought a Groupon for a haircut and hair spa treatment at a place called La Vie Hairdressing at Delfi Orchard mall. The treatment was very relaxing and I was quite pleased with the hair styling. (I got bangs again!) And as soon as I walked out of the place I felt like a princess. I think, if I could, I would wave to people and say "Yes, yes. I know I'm gorgeous!" That's how fabulous I felt. And to make it even better I notice that the mall is specifically set up for weddings! Dress shop here, photographer office there, and a whole lot of shinny things everywhere! I felt more and more euphoric walking around and checking out all the dress shops. I'm not getting married any time soon, but ruffled skirts and shinny jewelry can be a lovely distraction sometimes... Or maybe the hair treatment has gotten to my head.

I finally wonder into a cafe called Rocky Master. I only glanced at the menu for a short time before a girl at the counter greeted me. I asked her about her pizzas and she told me that they have these adorable 6" pizzas. I looked at the selections and immediately honed in on the Ratatouille option. Tomatoes, yes! Olives, YES! Zucchini, DOUBLE YES! I ordered it and sat down on one of the cushioned chairs, cause every cafe should have awesome cushioned chairs. The girl asked me if I wanted a drink to go with the pizza. I was kinda thirsty so I ordered a ice lemon tea. Then I noticed that everyone was paying for their meal at the counter and I totally forgot to pay for my meal. I didn't even have to get up because the server brought me the receipt and I paid right there on the cushioned chair.

Yes, I am a princess today.

What do you do in crowded areas?

I've learned today that I am definitely an introvert. I may crave human interaction every once in a while but only in a small groups of people. Other times I can be happy just being by myself. There is a poor perception that introverts are anti-social and avoid any kind of interaction with people.

In a recent TED talk, a lawyer gives a lecture about how she herself is an introvert. She never thought it was a good thing until she got further into her career. She explained that there are many people who are secretly introverts but they are pushed to be extroverts. Society has raised us to think that only extroverted people are happy and successful. However, the punchline is that introverts are needed in the work place more than ever right now. People who are introverted can show true dedication to the workforce without being stimulated by social interaction. Most companies now days are asking more and more employees to be self-starters. Introverts excel when they are given some time alone, so who do you think companies going to hire - an introvert or an extrovert?

...

Right now I am enjoying a ice latte while people watching. I'm by myself at this crowded beach and I am still blissfully happy being alone. I watch a father throw his little girls up into the air just for them to splash down into the water. I see a couple of families walk by talking pictures of each other on the sandy beach because who knows when they will be able to enjoy this family time together? I met a couple from South Africa earlier today and we had a nice long discussion about Singaporean/Malaysian customs control. And throughout this time I smile with my whole heart.

I don't have to be with friends or family to enjoy this time at the beach. I don't stray away from talking to people either. With this new found approach to who I am, my life path is a little bit clearer... Hope I've clarified some things for you too.

Parking like a Singaporean

Just now I watched a couple, for about 20 minutes, teach themselves how to back into a parking space. I think it was interesting how they kept practicing to perfection next to a BMW. A good way to make sure you're perfect!

In Singapore the protocol for parking is to back into the parking space. In the US it is the opposite and I've been wondering what are the benefits for parking back end first. In Singapore parking spaces are hard to come by and most of them are a tight fit (so tight that manufacturers have specifically sold vehicles to Singaporeans with automatic folding rear-view mirrors when parked). So why go through the scary thought of not being able to control the back end easily and park that end first? Simply because when you leave you can see your way out easier instead of through a rear-view mirror.

However, I still like the idea of backing up into a larger open space, than backing into a tight parking space between two nice cars. Just saying...

Scared of yoga now

11 April 2013

I never knew that Yoga could kick my a$$, but it did today. I tried out a Groupon for four yoga sessions for $20. I thought it was a pretty good deal and that way I could try to keep in shape while I pigged out in Singapore. I didn't realize how out of shape I was in until the instructor asked us to touch our toes. I've done it hundreds of times when I was doing cheerleading and when I actually working out at the gym, but this time I got to my ankles and stopped dead. The pain! And this was just the first set of instructions! I realized how I know nothing about yoga as the instructor called out various poses and I was the dumb one that kept saying "whaaaaaat?" One pose called for us to stand on our heads. All the girls were suddenly on their heads, effortlessly, as if they were saying "Yea, I've been waiting all day to do this position!" I just flopped around like I was Jason Segel on "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Thank goodness there were only three other girls in the class or else I would have felt a whole lot worse being embarrassed by a full class.

But the flip side is that I only had one class. I have three more to attempt... Save me...

Lessons of Rock Climbing

I haven't been writing a lot and its mostly due to me moving into a new place that doesn't have internet yet. I was really excited to move into a place of my own (well... Its my parents' place, but I'm watching it while they are away), however I occasionally become sad and lonely.

Before I had moved into my parents' place I went rock climbing with my adventurous aunt and uncle. Both of them do a variety of sporty activities as well as travel the globe, so it was a treat to join them rock climbing. It was my first time so I was given some pointers from my relatives. I list a few tips below but I noticed that they can be applied to life as well. Maybe if you're feeling down you should go rock climbing. ;-)

2 March 2013

Lessons of rock climbing:

1. Make sure you are secure to the rope and that the belayer's hook is locked - you are responsible for the safety of your own life.

2. Always have three points of your body (foot, hand) on the wall. Also keep your hips close to the wall so you won't feel like gravity is pulling you down. This will give you the balance you need to not fall. - Balance is key.

3. Use your legs to lift yourself higher. You may feel like you need to stretch your arms to pull you up, but your legs are stronger than your arms so use that to your advantage. - Remember to use your bases because they are stronger than your reach.

4. Take small steps and take your time. - You are not racing. You should be overcoming your fear one step at a time.

5. Just the tip of your toes is usually all you need when going from rock to rock. - Use your energy to move higher, not to stay solid at one level.

A long bus ride home

Some days I just want to experiment; see what happens when I don't take the advice of the GPS or people around me. I just go with my gut feeling and hope for the best... I took the wrong bus home today. 

I was visiting relatives in the distant part of Singapore called Marine Parade, where the closest MRT (train) station is at least a 5-10 minute bus ride away. This is somewhat rare in Singapore because most residential areas have an MRT station within 5 minutes walking distance, but my relatives are by the beach so that makes up for the annoying public transportation factor. I stayed at my relatives place for about 5 hours, helping my little cousin with her English homework and allowing my aunt sometime to get her hair done while I entertain my cousin. Towards the end though, it was my little cousin who was doing the entertaining. She showed me the beach (when my aunt returned and chaperoned) and then did a magic show for me and my aunt. Then I said good-bye and made my way back to the closest bus stop. 

To get back to my grandparents place, (where I am still residing at the moment), I needed to do one bus transfer. Its a scary thought for a person who has always used a subway system her whole life. Train to bus - ok. Bus to bus - NOT ok. When I had made the transfer the first time, going over to my relatives' place, it was quick and easy because the bus I needed did come right on time according Google Maps. Going home, however, the transfer bus (number 28) went missing. I thought I had missed it so I waited for another round of the same buses. 155, 2, 7, 26... Fifteen minutes passed and still no bus 28. So instead of going by Google Maps, and not asking for directions, I made the decision to go on the next bus that said they were going to Toa Payoh Interchange: Bus 26. 

For the first couple of minutes I watched on my Nexus 7 the blinking triangle (my location) on Google Maps move in the direction I was suppose to go. (Side note for travelers: The Nexus 7 really is a GREAT travel tablet for the price, however it does get annoying with the camera. It's front-facing only and it has low-grade pixelation. Good for Skype, bad for travel pictures for your photo album.) Then I headed into unknown territory - literally. I put away my Nexus 7 and enjoyed the ride of Bus 26. We first went through a crowded area that looked like I had accidentally crossed over into Malaysia. The shops on both sides of the street looked like they were from another decade in Singapore's history and pathways were so uneven that I wouldn't advise handicap people to visit the area. However, the stores and food stalls were crowded with people eating, buying, and mingling. I looked up the area in my trusty Lonely Planet travel guide and it said that the area, Geylang, has some of the best local food around, however the area used to be the red-light district of Singapore. I can believe it...

The bus continued through residential areas on roads with names like Boon Keng Road and Whampoa East. I forgot that Singapore has rivers flowing through the metropolis and on my ride I see several canals and rivers cemented into a permanent position. Residential apartments boarder both sides probably for a good view of "a river," however I'm sure people regret the mosquito bites that come with the view. When the bus turns onto a road called Jalan ("Jln" on maps) Toa Payoh, I almost freak out thinking that I had read the bus sign wrong. I've never heard of Jalan Toa Payoh in my area! I take deep breaths to calm and remind myself that I chose to be on a journey of the unknown. If I get to the end and it's not familiar I can always get on another bus. Thank God for my Nexus! The bus made another turn onto Lorong 6, a road I was familiar with and I gave a huge sigh of relief. I rang for the bus to stop at one of my new favorite landmarks - the community pool - and decided to walk the rest of the way home. I told myself that I was done exploring for the day. That bus ride was one and a half hours long. 

When the stars don't shine

Today has been an unbearably hot day. Sitting in the shade of a tree didn't stop my face from melting. But never mind that, its night time now and the cool air is welcomed. There's even a soft breeze every once in a while. No wonder the athletes of the block stay up late to play basketball or soccer/football. They play their games well into the night because playing during the day could give them a heart attack (true story!). However that doesn't make me happy because their noises keep me from sleeping at normal hours.

But I'm here, standing outside looking at the sky - blank as a blackboard slate. Its the light pollution of the city that hides the stars from my fragile eyes. No worries to the late night pedestrian though, the ground is well lit for you to walk around safely at night. I even see a mother and her infant playing on the playground just below my apartment.

The only way you could ever be scared of the dark around here is if you watched a scary movie and got stuck in the mall for the night, during a holiday weekend.

Target Acquired

I must be out of my mind because I am here at a place called Kraze Burgers. I walked through a fairly large food court filled with local Asian food stalls, but I still settled on this place, Kraze Burgers, because I was trying to be different. As soon as I bit into the soft, meaty, slightly spicy, flavorful burger I noticed that this place is an international chain restaurant and there's one close to my old office back in America. Unconsciously deciding on this restaurant could mean that I am missing home a little more than I had anticipated. For the past couple of days I have been drawn to places that have foreigners like me so I won't feel like such an outsider. 

Two days ago I had wondered into Holland Village, a place that has a mall filled with little hole-in-the-wall shops and outside, rows and rows of small eateries and bars. Holland Village is also home to a lot of foreigners who work in Singapore so you may find a family speaking French as they stroll through the grocery store and then a blond-haired woman sipping coffee, reading an Australian news paper at the cafe. It felt a little like home to me. 

Today I had ventured out to Marina Bay Sands, an integrated resort that combined a casino, hotel, museum and shopping mall all into one amusement area. It is one of the newest tourist destinations in Singapore. While I was eating in the Kraze Burger restaurant, I watched children ice skate in a rink right in the middle of the food court. It's a novelty to the children since it is about 90 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Another remarkable attraction in the mall is the man-made river where you can ride a miniature gondola. You'll feel like you are riding through a high class Venice with Prada, Gucci, and Fendi on the left and Ralph Lauren, Fossil, and Dior on the right. I end up wondering outside of the mall to look at the man-made bay that wasn't there seven years ago (which was the last time I was in Singapore). I try to take in all of it because it's quite intimidating. The tall buildings on the other side of the bay dominate most of the landscape, but there are construction cranes here and there indicating that this land has not reached it's peak potential. Some might call this place "beautiful" since a lot of the buildings are fantasy-like (the ArtScience Museum, which is right next to the mall, is like a large hand cupping the sky, and the hotel is made up of three tall towers with a large "boat" on top). The bay is glittering with little tour boats slowly gliding from one side to the other. I look back at the tall buildings across the way and I notice that a lot of them are bank buildings. There's DBS and HSBC and Standard Chartered. There's even Bank of America in the corner. This is what Singaporeans call the business district because that's what most Singaporeans do - finance. 

I said that I had been re-reading Eat Pray Love in my other blog post. I had gotten to the part where Elizabeth (the protagonist) defines cities and people with one or two words. Stockholm is CONFORM. New York is ACHIEVE. Rome is SEX. That got me thinking what word describes Singapore. I've been here multiple times and I have gotten a better idea about what the culture is like as an adult. So after careful thought sitting at Marina Bay Sands looking out at the business district I finally came to the conclusion that the word for Singapore is ACQUIRE. I won't try to describe my reasoning because you really need to experience Singapore to understand what I mean. (Or just read my blog!) The reason why I bring this up is because I have to wonder if I can be like Singapore and "acquire" that spirit. Hahaha! However, I would rather just enjoy that culture/spirit and move on to the next. Like a traveling writer. What a dream that would be... 

The Traveler

I've seen a lot of quotes about traveling.

"Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer."
"The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."
"I want travel the world even if I have to live out of a suitcase."

The last one sounds a little like "so you want to be a hobo??" But the others tend to inspire young people to do something outside of their typical life. However its always difficult (financially, mentally, etc.) to make that jump into the unknown. You'll never know what new things you'll find out about yourself.

For myself, I wanted to just drop everything and travel after reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I, too, had my fair share of messy break-ups and when I read Ms. Gilbert's take on a jump-started life I was very moved. I tell everyone Ms. Gilbert's book is like my personal "bible" because every time I go through something difficult I look up inspiration in her book. I have notes and markings all over the pages, which I'm very proud of.

When I finally got to Singapore, (a major accomplishment by myself and my family who supports me), I didn't get the feeling that so many travelers say they have - a sense of this is where I'm meant to be. Instead I felt like I took a wrong turn and I kept thinking "why am I here?" I keep asking myself that. It helps me get out of bed, forcing me to attempt at answering the question with "to tour the city" or "to get started with my career." Every single night, though, my mind picks at me and my day and says "are you sure you know what you're doing?" Something isn't right here.

A true world traveler can get up and be excited to go out and do new things that they are not familiar with. A true world traveler can be open to cultures that are totally different than the one the traveler grew up in. A true world traveler, (this is the big thing I forgot), can move on to someplace new and carefully let go of the things and people they left behind... Yes, its great to go to another place, but you have to be ready to leave and not just move.

This trip showed me that I got too attached to my hometown. I can't stay away from it too long. Sadly, I'm not the true world traveler I wanted to be, but if life hands me a suitcase you know I'm going to make lemonade! ... wait.....

Out of your Comfort Zone

On Friday, I went to see the band Fun. in concert. I went alone because I couldn't find anyone to go with me. At first I was hesitant to go because I'm tired going alone to things and I didn't know what I would find at a Singaporean concert. The tickets were probably the most I've ever paid for a concert, but then again I've never gone to a concert where the band was actually popular.

The concert hall was in Sentosa Resort World behind the Hard Rock Cafe. Sentosa Resort World wasn't there a couple of years ago so it was amazing to look around and see Universal Studios and so many fancy restaurants under this fantastic roof. Most new attraction areas are now covered so when it rains people can still wonder around the area without getting wet. Also, there were fountains that had their own shows at different times in the evening. This was so people who were going out for dinner could have a good meal and a show! And that's exactly what I did for the Fun. concert...

I had gotten to the Resort World around 5pm, thinking that I was there early enough to get some food and then go to the concert hall. I was, of course, wrong. Three hours before the concert started, young high schoolers were lining up to get into the concert hall. I didn't feel like being alone in line for that long, plus I was hungry so I went to the Hard Rock Cafe and got myself an expensive sandwich and drink. The food and staff were great so I didn't mind treating myself. I told the staff that I was going to the Fun. concert and they probably thought that I was a reporter from the US since I was alone and had a pen and notebook. Hahahahah! I finished my food and drink and made my way to the end of the already long line. I waited in line with a family (father, mother, and their three children) and two school girls. Just siting in line I was already melting. I was wearing the least amount of clothing that I could because I knew how stuffy it can get at a rock concert, but I saw so many little girls in pants and leggings. I think they were insane. I was, however, more insane for not even thinking about bringing a water bottle (.. I'll get back to that one). We waited in line for about an hour and then when we got into the concert hall we waited another hour standing. The concert hall was not very well ventilated so everyone was already sticky and sweaty by the time the band came on, but that didn't stop us from jumping around, pumping our fists, clapping in the air, and raising our hands "I love you!" to the band. Made you wish that you couldn't smell. 

My favorite part of the concert was this little girl standing next to me throughout the concert. She was alone like myself and she was shorter than most people. She reminded me of a close friend I know back home so I was glad that I was standing next to her. She was vigilant in seeing this band. When the band started singing she shocked me by singing all the lyrics verbatim and with such a happy face. She didn't hold up a sign saying "I'll give you my first born for another song," (yes, someone had that sign), and she didn't wear any memorabilia. She just wanted to enjoy her favorite band - a true fan. 

By the end of the concert I was pretty tired. My feet and back were in pain and I was craving libations. I was hoping to pop into a bar and grab a drink or maybe a cafe for some coffee, but I didn't realize how many people were thinking the exact same thing. This is why I was silly for not bringing my own bottle. (NOTE: If you go to a concert in Singapore, and it's outside, make sure you bring a water bottle with you!) I ended up walking further inland of Sentosa and bought a soda (for caffeine) at a 7-11. I made my way back to the train station to take me back to the main island. The train ended at the top of a mall called Vivo City and the MRT train station to take me home was in the basement. On my way down to the basement I saw a man standing, but resting his head on the railing, next to the escalator. He didn't look like he was able to move, let alone lift his head. I almost walked past him like so many other people, but I made a U-turn and walked up to him thinking that he could use some help. I tapped him on his shoulders and asked him if he was ok. He turned his head and looked at me. It seemed that he was expecting someone else and turned his head back into his arms. I couldn't tell if he was sick or hungover or was going through a depression so I asked the usual questions when you want to help someone: "Do you need a drink of water?" "Would you like me to get you a chair?" "Is there someone you would like me to get?" "Is there anything I can do for you?" He didn't reply to anything I asked so I just told him that I hope he feels better. He then turned back to me and whispered a thank you. I left him wishing and thinking that I could do more for him, but a person can only be helped if they are willing to accept the help. 

Reflecting on that night I notice that I was out of my element. I don't ever got to concerts alone, let alone a concert of a well-known band. I don't eat at fancy restaurants (I do consider the Hard Rock Cafe "fancy"). I hate crowds and I rarely have the courage to ask a random stranger if they need help, but I guess that night was different. I wonder if the night was also different for the little girl at the concert and the man standing next to the escalator. Were they out of their comfort zones? 

Quick note on relationships

I know I don't typically write about relationships, but its actually a passion of mine (in my personal journal. ;-) ). A thought occurred to me today that I'd thought I'd share:

Even if you are beautiful from the inside out, and everyone tells you that you are the sweetest person they ever met, it won't land you a partner in life. Beauty and sweetness is not the formula for winning over your prince charming. Sorry, but its the truth. I don't know the formula but, (caution, double negative!), that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be your best or try harder to be even more awesome. Be the sweetest and stay beautiful from the inside out because you never know when The One will pop up out of nowhere and say "I'm amazed and so happy to have you, of all people in this world, in my life."

The Beach

Right now I'm at a "beach" on Sentosa island. Sentosa used to be an washed out amusement park that all of Singapore thought was something of a sideshow. Slowly the park gained popularity and built up it's amusement selection. As a child, my parents would still take me to Sentosa because it was a tourist attraction  Now, as an adult, its somewhat shocking how much has changed...

I sit on imported white sandy beaches, shores that's no wider than a two lane highway and waves that can barely graze your ankles when you stand next to the water. Back at home I would think this place is pitiful but over here it's very popular. If you visit an island you probably want to see the beach, so here we are!

The range of activities here are endless, but its for the people who don't mind spending money. Its like every other theme park that I've been to but on a tropical island. I paid to go to a show tonight but the system is "down" so I don't know if I'll be able to go to it now. We'll see. I also paid to visit the aquarium but to be honest I just want to stay on this small bit of sand. Maybe dip in the water...? I only reconsider that decision because I see the cargo ships in the near distance. I would DEFINITELY need to take a shower after stepping out into that water!

Careful of wind, my aunt said to me when I told her I would be visiting the beach today. She means, when it starts to blow, a storm might be coming... Its windy now, I see a heavy cloud. Guess it's time to go in...

... My aunt was right! As soon as I got into the bus to go to the Underwater World, the sky opened up and it poured. I managed to get inside the building fairly dry while it rained cats and dogs outside, but I later ventured back outside to see the dolphin show. Don't get me wrong! I think the aquarium part is interesting, and the fish are so beautiful, but I really, really, really wanted to see the PINK DOLPHINS! At first there was only a light drizzle, so little that I didn't need an umbrella for, but once I took my seat in the outdoor stadium (only a tarp-like roof to keep the audience dry) mother-nature said "No pink dolphins for you!" Right now, after a half an hour of waiting, I'm still in the stands, and the stands are still full of people. The show won't start until the rain calms down. I decide to finish off my Subways sandwich (yes, they have Subways in Singapore and yes, I broke down and bought American food!). I watched the pink dolphins bob up and down in the large pool for the show. They seem to enjoy the rain and they seem to say to me "Haha! Silly non-aquatic mammals! We LUV this weather!" (Dolphins say "luv" instead of "love" because they are adorable that way.) And as I write this, one of them decides to beach himself on the platform and show off. Yep, we're silly humans.

...

After leaving the Underwater World building, I decided to get a cup of coffee since the day was really starting to ware me out. I found a cute little chain-café (I forget the name, but is everywhere here in Singapore) and I decided to get a tropical fruit tea (hot - cause the rain made me feel cold). It was delicious! I can't believe I had been going to silly places like Starbucks for my coffee and tea in the past! Note to travelers: If you ever come to Singapore, do your best to eat and drink local fair - 9 times out of 10 its worth it!

I had tickets to see this light and water show at 8:40pm so I needed to kill at least 3 hours... Since I didn't want to spend more money I wondered and apparently 3 hours is not enough to explore the new Sentosa. I will go back to check out more stuff... Like tomorrow because I'm going to see FUN.!!! Got my ticket and now all I have to do is put together an outfit. :-) The light and water show was amazing by the way, but for the younger crowd (and for Singaporeans because the actors in the show sang popular songs in Chinese, Malay, and Hindi). The only down side to going back is that its going to burn a hole in my pocket book. My poor bank account!!!

What a beach!

Night Tourism

Singapore is a city state. It's one of those cities that never sleeps. The "young people" have energy to spare and money to spend from the long, hard work week. ("Young people" can range from an 18-year-old who can have his first beer, to a 40-year-old who isn't married and still has the heart of a teenager.) A typical weekend party starts at 11pm and ends when the sun rises the next day. If one bar closes there's always a Karaoke bar or disco-tech that is still open a couple doors down. Imagine Las Vegas, but on a larger scale and Asian style.

I've been here a month so far and I have tried the nightlife on many different occasions. I've been to a fancy hotel bar that has a club in the back. I've spent the night at a cafe/hooka bar and passed the time talking about traveling the world on Arab Street. I've danced my way through a gay club and then hung out with the Caucasian expats at an Aussie bar. I've rocked out to Journey (Gasp!!!!... I actually HATE Journey) while eating the most delicious Hawaiian pizza in a crowded bar above another bar. I've attended a birthday party and listened to the Oldies at one of my relatives' neighborhood bar... All of this, and I still haven't seen the most popular nightlife places.
I have to thank all my relatives for taking me to all these places because I won't have had the courage to venture out at night. As a young person, it's so helpful to know the nightlife available to me. If Singapore is a city that never sleeps I'd be missing a large chunk of what this country has to offer. Touring doesn't always have to occur during the day time. However, I must warn people who would like to know more about the nightlife here in Singapore: if you don't know your limits and you don't know where to go, you will NOT have a good time. Just my two cents.

Writer's Block Collage

The following paragraphs are outcomes of my writer's block over the past few days. Be glad that I didn't write during those days or else you would be getting a post with a game called "Stupid or Clever move." Best to not ask...

It's snowing back home. I'm not jealous...! However I am not too happy that I'm clammy/oily all the time over here in tropical Singapore.

I wasn't planning on doing errands today but I ended up helping my grandparents with some shopping. I wore my Havannas flip flops, which I am now regretting. I like having soft, un-calloused feet. Havannas apparently do not allow me that luxury because by the time I had walked to the store and back (about a half an hour's time) my feet were in complete pain! I even had to stop a couple of times to let my feet relax from the building blisters created from the rubbing plastic bands on the flip flop. As soon as I got home a layer of skin had been rubbed off from both of my feet (and some how I got some skin clipped off of my finger too... I'm a klutz). Too bad, I was going to go to see Oz the Great and Powerful but since my feet are now in bad shape I'll just stay in for tonight.

I hate hate hate HP laptops because I can't deactivate the touch pad. I just deleted a whole paragraph because my hand accidentally touched the pad while I was writing. It highlighted the whole paragraph and deleted it... well I'll just say this: I went to the Art Museum here in Singapore. Found cool stuff. Here's a picture of a painting of Hitler visiting a soldier who was wounded from an attempted assassination on Hitler. Whatever... I now have writer's block because of stupid technology!

Beauliful

Prepare yourself! I'm going to blow your mind!

Today I went back to Orchard Road for a little retail therapy. I've been a little stressed out lately, for unknown reasons, and so I thought, like any sensible young woman, that the best way for me to relax is to hang out at the mall. I had blogged earlier that I had gone to Orchard Road and was overwhelmed by the prestige and the array of stores available to Singaporeans (post: This is Singapore?). When I went back to the stores this time I felt a little more confident in myself and was no longer shocked about the famous brand names. I saw so many beautiful clothes, but with big price tags. I ended up buying some jewelry as gifts and biscuits from the UK, both things on sale.

In all of these stores you still notice a similar look. The trend now is to wear pastel colors with spikey accessories. The bottom needs to be slimming while the top can be baggy. There's always a trend that I can't stand and this year it's the tight jeans or jeggings. The tight jean trend is intended to show off your curves and try to make you LOOK slimmer. The truth is that by squeezing your body into pants that are "hugging" every part of your stomach it's causing your intestines to be warped and thus your digestive system will not function naturally. (I won't get into the messy details.) On top of that it makes people who aren't slim feel out of place, either by trying to hide their muffin tops or by not being "in trend" at all. However, this is an outcome of the media. Everywhere in Singapore there are ads about having the softest, supple skin, or there are Groupons about hair treatments to stop hair loss. But I have to admit one of my favorite commercials was about a slimming product so that people can fit between car rear view mirrors in parking lots. Very Singaporean! I'm not saying that one shouldn't try to strive to look their best, but I'm saying that we shouldn't allow ourselves to be abused by the fashion hype.

After all the shopping, I got home, gave myself a foot massage and a facial, did some work on the computer and then ate dinner. One thing about my grandparents' dishware is that it's eclectic. The plates are not a full set and, since we mostly drink kopi (coffee) or teh (tea), we drink everything out of mugs. The mug I used today I noticed had a flower and a word written in cursive on the side. On a quick glance it looks like "Beautiful" but on closer examination it says "beauLiful." That happens a lot in Asian products, no one spell-checks. But that reminded me of something I learned today in a course I'm taking online from Coursea (free university courses online). In the course Know Thy Self, given by Prof. Mitch Green from the University of Virginia, the professor talked about Socrates and the Apology, written by Plato. In the retelling of Socrates' judging by the Athenians, Socrates says this "The un-examined life is not worth living." There are of course people who can be good people and go through life not thinking about themselves and just doing what needs to be done. Good for them! But Socrates is not saying that those who don't observe their life shouldn't be living. What scholars believe is that Socrates is saying that we should examine what we are or else we miss out on the value of our life.

If you noticed by now I wrote "Beauliful" as my title for this post. I did that as a test. Did you notice it? Did it bug you? But now you know and now you may be rethinking your thoughts about tight jeans as I have for several months now. I know it's a trend, but seriously! Why do we have to hurt ourselves to be thought of as beautiful people? If you think a trend would make you beautiful maybe you should examine what you think is "beauliful" so you won't miss out on your true value.

Mind blown.

Instant Noodles

In high school I was introduced to this food called Instant Noodles. Sometimes it came in a bowl, a cup, or wrapped in plastic. On occasion it came with freeze-dried vegetables and a packet of "seasoning." By the time college came around, this food was a staple in my diet, even though I was told it was bad for you. After so many years of boiling the water, adding the noodles and then, if necessary, stirring in the "seasoning," I found out that I've been cooking it wrong. Yes, according to Singaporeans, the instructions on the packaging is WRONG!
My grandmother is the cook of the house and sometimes she makes really elaborate dishes with foods I've never heard of. Most of the time it's best not to ask what it is and just try it. My grandmother also is very aware of what I like and don't like. For the first couple of days in Singapore she bought me tomatoes! (It's one of my favorite foods that I showed her several years ago.) Now I buy my own. She also cooked me  instant noodles with pork, veggies and a fried egg, another favorite of mine. One day my grandmother was too tired to cook for me so I said I would cook it myself. Watching me cook my food she was shocked to see how much water I was trying to boil. Then she noticed that I put in the packet of "seasoning" and said "No no! Not nice!" She ended up moving me out of the way and finished cooking my dish. She threw in a bunch of little things here and there. I tried to follow her way of cooking but was soon lost in a series of pinches of this and drops of that. What she salvaged from my pot of noodles turned into something not great, but not bad either.
Instant noodles is a staple to the Singaporean menu of good eats, but it's enhanced from the way Americans have come to eat it. There's even a show dedicated to the origin of all things Instant Noodles. Singaporeans love food and you see that immediately in the Hawker Centers and the Malls. All kinds of food is readily available to Singaporeans. However, I will warn you that the food that is deemed "Chinese food" in America is very different than the cultural Chinese food that is here.

Instant noodle cooking wasn't the only thing that shocked my world. Small house chores like laundry or cleaning the dishes are done differently here in Singapore. Laundry should be washed almost twice a week to avoid mold and there is only a washer for the laundry, no dryer. The clothes must be air-dried and only when the sun is out or you might get rained on clothes. Dish washing must be done by hand with the least amount of water, so you need to wash or wipe off excess food, soap all the dishes (top and bottom of every cup, plate, and pot), and then water it down. Exchanging money and contacting relatives are also in need of adjustment. When giving someone money, since money is very valuable, you should give it with two hands to the receiver. Also, in traditional families, which is practically the majority of the Singaporean natives, you should know the order of each grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc. so you can call them by the appropriate title. An example, my baby cousin will call me Biao Jie (meaning older girl cousin) since I am older than him and I will call him Biao Di (meaning young boy cousin). Another quark to all things Singaporean is saying "lah" at the end of almost every other sentence, even if it's in English. You know the person is from Singapore  when they say "lah" just about the same way that you know a person is Canadian when they say "eh." All of these little things are fascinating to me, however oh so frustrating! Coming from a culture that doesn't practice any of these habits you begin to think "why?" and even after you get a good explanation you're still scratching your head saying "that's odd." But it's not really that odd, at least to a Singaporean. It's their way of life.
So you see, I'm still going through the adjustment phase of my trip. I was warned about the changes and yet I still dove into a world where I am quite an outsider. Coming back home will also be a challenge because I'll want to bring the practices that I've learned overseas back home with me. But how much will you bet that I can make a successful food truck out of Singaporean Instant Noodles? Just thoughts, lah.

A.R.K.

Have you seen that movie "Evan Almighty"? It's a little on the religious side but it sends a great message with a lot of well known actors, like Steve Carell and Morgan Freeman. In the movie, Steve Carell as Congressman Evan Baxter, is supposed to build this grand ark like the biblical story of Noah. He goes through major criticisms and abandonment, probably what Noah went through, but in the end, God (played by the playful Morgan Freeman) makes a grand point. Evan saves about a hundred lives with his ark and then God shows Evan that it was an Act of Random Kindness.

Today I did a little ARK of my own. I signed up with a Singaporean volunteer service called SG Cares. I wanted to do something meaningful during my stay in Singapore and my friend told me about SG Cares. SG Cares is an organization that helps match volunteers to non-profit groups who need help. I volunteered today at a rehabilitation center in Ang Mo Kio. My job was to wheel patients to and from their rooms to see a movie and keep them company in the process. The patients at the center are both young and old, but most of them are elderly. My biggest reservation about volunteering at the center was the language barrier. I thought that if I didn't know how to communicate with them they would become frustrated with me. So when one of the patients called me over to help them, I freaked out and asked one of the volunteers to help me. It turned out that the patient knew English but she had a bit of a slur so I thought she was speaking a different language. After I had wheeled her around a bit (we got lost while trying to find her bed) we talked about the movie and the director's other movies. She was very sweet and was understanding of my language barrier. She didn't get frustrated when I kept saying "what?" I'm glad I met the kind auntie (in Singapore "auntie" and "uncle" is used for almost any woman or man that you meet). When I went to leave her bed side she squeezed my hand in thanks and I told her, with complete sincerity, that I would be back. So I'm going to volunteer at the center again. If there's more patients like the kind auntie then I shouldn't worry about communicating. I should focus on being a friendly face and a person willing to help. Volunteering can be scary in a different country, but you learn the culture faster and pick up some of the language while your at it.

Turn on the Positivity

A couple of days ago I had written a beautiful post about the Gardens at the Bay and sustainable energy. Unfortunately it became lost in cyber space due to my Nexus mobile app acting up. According to my app its still publishing, which I doubt.

I'm not going to rewrite the post because that would be a waste of time. Instead I'm just going to tell you it was a pleasant trip and I enjoyed learning about how the whole amusement park was able to sustain itself on rain water and sunlight. Singapore really is a leading country in sustainable energy.

What I'm going to write about today is positive psychology. I recently started looking into the idea of going back to school and dove into a subject I know nothing about: psychology. Surprisingly I am fascinated with the study of human behavior. Unsurprisingly, I have noticed that I have been unofficially studying human behavior my whole life. I have gone to the local library (where I found out that I can't get a library card unless I pay $50) to look at psychology textbooks. I have read article after article about human interactions and ways to better oneself though positive thinking (this is how I get past the misconception that I am a worthless, unskilled, graduate with no career path in sight). Then today I came across a video of a short lecture called "TED: The happy secret to better work," presented by Shawn Achor. The lecturer explained that the way people think these days has been warped into a depressing, negative search for happiness. If you think that success is the only way to happiness, you'll just keep moving that "goal post" further and further away because it will always be "I'll be happy after this happens..." and "When I get this done, then I'll be happy." The correct, more efficient way of thinking is to be happy now and success will come more easily.

Remember when your mother would tell you "cherish the little things"? Positive psychology backs that. There are so many ways to keep yourself happy in a world of depressing and negative thoughts. An example is of today for me, I barely got any of my work done because... technology was not working in my favor and I was babysitting a crying baby. The positive side: found Shawn Achor's lecture. He's quite funny and I admire those who can make me laugh.

If you can't be a positive thinker on your own try one of these attitude adjusters, every day, for 21 days (3 weeks):
- tell yourself 3 gratitudes 
-  journal
- exercise
- meditate
- do an act of random kindness

If that doesn't work, I guess I do need to go back to school for psychology. :-P

Art and Leisure

Dated: 18 Feb 2013

Right now I'm at the National Museum of Singapore. I paid $11 to see all of the exhibits because I have the time to spend the whole day here and learning about a different culture is important. However the payment of admission is about the cost of two small meals or one Western style meal. (Can you tell that I'm hungry?)

So the first exhibit I looked into was about this famous Singaporean theater director named Kuo Pao Kun. He's a large contributor to Singapore's modern theater movement. He directed some of his own pieces based off of Singapore's changing culture (i.e. language diversity, growth of the city) and he translated foreign works so that Singaporeans could build on other contemporary theater. The most fascinating thing to me about Kuo's works was the reoccurring topic of language. In the US, most theater can survive on just English but in Singapore a large obstacle (or process - its how you look at it) is translating. I didn't know when I came to Singapore that so many Singaporeans know at least three languages, English and Chinese and then their family's language. English is the working language, Chinese is the cultural/traditional language, and then the family language, Tamil or Hokkien or Hindi or something else, that is used at home. However, as people get older, I've noticed that everyone starts to use one language as the dominant language. Nine time out of ten its English (yippy!). But you still have to be aware that just because they speak English doesn't mean that they are Westernized.

The second exhibit was more simple but yet very poetic about the separation of modern Singaporean families. You can't deny that the world is getting smaller and smaller as we are able to travel long distances at ease (if you have the funds) and, with social medias, news can travel around the world in seconds. Even snail mail can get to your front door faster than it did two decades ago. This exhibit, by John Clang, is made up of Skype family portraits and some of his own personal struggles with being a family member across seas. As a small little island, the country and its people are known at all corners of the globe. Its rare if I have to explain where Singapore is located these days. More and more Singaporeans, like my mom, have moved far away  from their home and family, but yet they are still able stay in the loop of home life. The portraits are situated very similar to old family portraits (the black and white kind), and project family members who are overseas through Skype video on a wall. The end result is that you see everyone, in real-time, sitting or standing to take the family portrait. To me, these pictures seem like more than just a thousand words - its more like millions.

I saw more exhibits about Singaporean women's clothing in the 1960 and watched part of black and white movies of the young Lion city. When I got to my fifth exhibit my stomach finally yelled at me to go eat something. I ate a simple, yet delicious meal at a near by university and then headed to the local library in Toa Payoh. I spent a good two hours reading about psychology, my new-found love affair, and then I went home. It was a pretty relaxed day that I spent all on my own and I'm accomplishing my goal of being a self-starter.

A Sunday Service

Dated: 17 Feb 2013

I haven't been writing a lot and I apologize. I have been going through the adjustment phase of culture shock which can usually include bitterness and resentment towards a new environment. I wouldn't want to include those experiences in my blog because its not... me. Interesting enough, I came across an idea while I was visiting the New Creation Church today: Do the things or people that surround you effect the goals you wish to accomplish?

Today I visited my uncle and aunt's church. The church is called the New Creation Church which is lead by a pastor named Joseph Prince. The church is known internationally as a non-denominational Christian church that is broadcasted in several countries, including the US. The hymns are performed to pop-like music and communion is distributed in a small jello-like cup (grape juice in the cup sealed with a cracker on top). The multiple services are packed every Sunday and, up til recently, the seats would need to be reserved online (now you just need to get there early and queue in line if you're late). Pastor Prince was playful with his sermon talking about interacting with those who are believers and non-believers. My favorite quote of his sermon went something like "If you believe that wearing a cross immediately makes you a Christian, then does wearing a cowbell make you a cow?" I couldn't understand everything he said though because of his quick-speaking  "Singlish." Singaporean are surprisingly quick at speaking English I've noticed, but then they sneak in some words like "kiesu" and then I get confused for a bit. ("Kiesu" is a term used for a person who is obsessed with one-uping people.) By the end of the sermon I had taken a lot of nice notes, but I was getting hungry.

My aunt and uncle took me to several places after church. We got food, went shopping, hit a coffee place, browsed through more fun things, grabbed a cup of coconut ice cream and a Singaporean-style burger and then home. Once we got back to their apartment it was only 3pm. My aunt showed me some clothes I could borrow and my uncle and I got into a discussion about Singaporean politics. It was very interesting hearing about the political situation in Singapore because most Singaporeans avoid politics. For the longest time the country had been run by one political party (the People's Action Party) but in recent years a new party has emerged (the Worker's Party) to create a much needed variety in the government. However, the government is struggling with scandals and protests at the moment. On protest that I'm particularly following is the Singaporean concern of population control. The country is already crowded as it is, but the government recently announced that they intend for the country to reach 6.9 million in 2030. The country is only at about 3 million right now, and judging by the way most young Singaporeans hardly reproduce these days, how do you ask they reach 6.9 million? People like me - foreigners. So, in terms of me finding a job, is that a good thing or bad thing? It makes you come back to my earlier question then - will my environment effect my goals?

Along the Road

On life's journey you meet people who change and alter who you are. You remember these people because you remember how you feel from what they have said or done. Sometimes these people are significant pieces of your life but you don't know until something monumental happens...
In college I had a boyfriend name Joel. He was different from the men I had dated in the past and those after Joel and I had broken up. He was still one of the sweetest boyfriends I had ever dated. He had done many things to keep me happy, even at his expense. If we hadn't broken up I would expect that we would have had a solid life together, but we didn't. We grew apart and I barely heard anything from him until yesterday. In the morning I saw a picture of him on Facebook and then the information about his death flooded my news feed. He had passed away from a car accident that wasn't his fault.

I understand that as humans we are fragile and the life we live can be so short and insignificant to the billions of people around us. However, no life is left completely unaccountable to another. Joel did not stay in my life very long but he has reminded me that we all have a purpose for being here... And that is significant.

Rest in Peace Joel

Eve of the Year of the Snake

Dated: 9 Feb 2013

This morning my grandmother and I left the house early, so early that the sun's rays hadn't touched the ground. We boarded the bus to Marina Bay and got off just inside of the business district area. (You can tell its the business district by the electronic gateways that tolls each vehicle that goes through.) Mama took me into a mall that looked like it was still closed. It was 7:30am on a Saturday so I was hesitant to go in. We want up an escalator that was not on and then she realized that the store she was looking for was closed. I followed Mama back outside and started looking for a different venue.
I didn't know where we were until we turned a corner. Earlier in the week we had gone to two temples go pray to the Goddess of Mercy to thank her for my safe journey, and around the corner was the two temples! So Mama was her to buy spiritual things for new years. We found a open stall that had apples with Chinese symbols and some other fruit. We bought some, but Mama needed more. She found another fruit stall that had a lot more fruits that she needed. We bought more fruits and some cakes that are specifically used for shrines. Then we stopped at a bakery that was barely open. Mama bought several cakes, buns, tarts, etc. all for the house shrine. I got a whiff of the morning's batch of pork buns and it made my mouth water. I hadn't had breakfast yet so I was hungry, but I wanted to make sure we got all the goods back home first.
Mama wanted to go into another shop to buy papers to burn for our ancestors, but it was also closed. So we went home and she had to buy the papers from a local vendor. I got a good workout carrying the bags of fruits and baked goods back home while she shopped for the papers.
When I got back to the apartment I was going to go off and get a quick breakfast at a nearby hawker center, but Mama appeared and put me to work. She wanted all the fruits wrapped in a special red paper that stains your hands and clothes. When I was finished wrapping Mama put all the fruits and baked goods together on plates and put it up on the shrine dedicated to the Goddess of Mercy and my grandfather's parents. When my grandmother was done arranging things she left to do more new years things and I was free to eat food!

I felt that it was time to go off on my own to a hawker center (a Singaporean food hub/cafeteria). My grandfather was hesitant to let me go off alone since it would be my first time ever, so he suggested a noodle shop that was close by, as in across the street so he could see me walk over there. I said I was good to go and started my solo journey in search of food. When I got to the noodle shop the woman there told me that they were out of food. That was odd because it was 10am on a Saturday and all the other shops were closed or closing too. This did not give me a red flag, but off I went again looking for a bowl of noodles. I went by a McDonalds, and I was so close to giving in and eating Western/American food, but I told myself that I need to be more bold. So I kept going. I went down the market that usually was packed and then it hit me - it is New Year's Eve! Who wants to work on New Year's Eve? No one. So now it made sense why I was having trouble finding a simple noodle shop. I did finally find one, but I was so scared I was going to order something wrong. The woman taking orders spoke English to me only and Chinese to everyone else. It was helpful, but I still ordered the simplest thing on the menu: fishball noodle soup. I quickly took my food and got a table without getting any condiments for my soup, but I was nervous and didn't want to get up again. A drink seller asked me what I wanted to drink and I asked for water. When she brought me the water I had to pay her $1.20 but I only had a $10 on me. She chuckled as if to say that's OK. She gave me back change and I went back to eating my very simple meal.
Thinking back on my life, I have rarely done things on my own. People probably feel that they are helping me by guiding me through every little task, but now that I am a woman, it frightens me when I have to be on my own for something new. My aunt has given me a quote about this though - "the scariest moment is always just before you start."
Maybe the next time I go on my own I'll order something more interesting.

In preparation of CNY

I had written a great post earlier and some how it got deleted, so I'm sorry that this might be spotty.

Chinese New Year (aka Lunar New Year; CNY) is a huge holiday in Singapore much like Christmas is in the US. Everyone goes shopping because there are lunar new year sales. People get small gifts on the day of the new year. Family members meet up to celebrate the holiday in Chinese tradition. People also decorate the whole house in the lucky color - red. The house also needs to be cleaned up for not only for practical reasons, but spiritual reasons as well. When I was young, I was taught that in Chinese tradition you must clean up your home before the first day of the Lunar New Year. The reason for this is because spirits will "dust" the home with good luck for the whole year, if you clean up after the new year you will be sweeping away the luck.
My grandmother has been very diligent in her CNY preparations. On the morning of the 6th my grandmother decided that we were going to clean up the living room. We moved out all the furniture into the leftover spaces we have in the small apartment. Moving to couch was a bit of a hassle because I was the only one who could lift things. Then Mama scrubbed the marble floors with all-purpose cleaner and a broom. When it was time to mop up the suds, Gonggong (my grandfather) and I thought that Mama wanted a bucket of water to mop. Instead she grabbed the hose from Gonggong's hands and watered down the floors! There was water everywhere! In the kitchen, in our rooms... We had to hurry to push the water out through the front door. My job was to make sure the family shrine did not get wet. My biggest worry was that the water would seep into the apartment below, but my grandmother didn't seem worried. I guess the apartments in Singapore, being made of solid concrete and marble, does not have problems of seepage. Needless to say, we got the floors cleaned and dried before noon.
Yesterday was the day that my grandmother took me to the largest temple I have ever seen for new years blessings. Our trip was to thank the gods for the blessings this year and then humbly ask for blessings in the new year. When going to the temple you must be clean as you can be (women on their "time of the month" shouldn't go), and you should also bring items to donate so that the temple can keep running (i.e. Jossticks - prayer sticks, candy - to give to visitors, money - you know why). So on our way to the temple Mama and I bought some candy to donate. The candy was donated to the first shrine we encountered and then we started our journey of praying to several different shrines. Mama showed me how to thank and to ask for blessings at five different shrines. By the end of it I still wasn't sure I was praying correctly. Some shrines were large, some were in air-conditioning, some you had to walk around to thank every god. It was a long trip and I got some minor blisters but I guess you need to go through some pain to obtain true blessings.

The picture is of this year's prediction for those born in the year of the Rabbit. Good luck to my fellow Rabbits!

This is Singapore?

Dated: 5 Feb 2013

My aunt wanted to do some errands on Orchard Road, Singapore's largest shopping area. She invited me to go window shopping but I didn't understand why JUST window shopping.
I took the MRT (Singapore's subway system) and when I got out of the station you were in the basement of two malls. The first store I went into was something I was familiar with: Forever 21. However I soon became overwhelmed as I walked through it looking for a Chinese New Year outfit. It just kept going! I thought that the next "room" was just a mirror image, but NO its more clothes and accessories! A bunch of young students walked around the store and many of them were Caucasian with slight tans. (I got a little jealous. I'm still Ms. Whitie McWhiterson.) When I couldn't find anything I tried to move on to another store, hoping that my shock would subside. I found gorgeous outfits that I couldn't afford and saw women who all looked like models or housewives out of Hollywood. I thought I had dressed up, but they made me look like I was going to a wet market.
My aunt asked me to meet her at a mall called Ion. I stood next to the largest Sephora I had ever seen. I think I even saw a chandelier in there! I wanted to buy some cosmetics but I quickly got too scared to ask for help. Yes, I was scared! Just standing in the lobby of the mall felt like you were in Monaco or Paris. I had come to the conclusion that I need a tour guide for the malls more than I needed one for a safari.
I'm not a person who buys things from Louis Vuitton or Hans Cole or Valentino. Even if I had the money to use in places like these, I think I would want to buy something unique or something that benefited others. All these brands are the leaders in fashion but to the un-bias eye everything looks pretty much the same across the world. Where's the culture in a place like this?
When my aunt and I were doing errands I asked her if the world thought that this, the concrete shopping jungle, is what Singapore is. Since most foreigners live and work close to here, I have to wonder if foreigners visiting really portray the hidden character of the  Singapore I have known most of my life. Most traveling people see the "shinny" parts of a country, where things are familiar and you don't have to put too much effort into adapting. But is that really traveling?
I'll probably go back to Orchard Road another day to attempt exploring again, taking with me my metaphorical shot gun and canteen, but I think my happiness lies elsewhere on this diverse island.

American Football

Dated: 4 Feb 2013

I woke up early in the morning in part because I had gone to sleep at 3pm the day before, and also the Super Bowl was on at 7am (Singapore time). I may sound really American when I say this, but I NEVER miss the Super Bowl! So I got a huge wave of home sickness as I read Facebook feeds of people going off to bars and hackling each other about who's going to win this year. I admit, I cried a little. When I let my mother know about my home sickness she looked up this bar in the business district. The bar was called Dallas (ugh, why couldn't it be called Washington... But I digress...). So I gathered my courage, took a shower, and asked my grandfather to help me hail a cab. My grandfather thought it was funny that I was going to a bar at 7:30am, but you gotta do what you gotta do to keep yourself from completely losing yourself to home sickness.
The cab ride was around $15 for a 20 minute ride because of three factors: hailed it off the street ($3 fee), took it during rush hour (~$3), and the route the cab driver took was through the business district toll area (~$5). Add it on to the regular fare and it came out to be an expensive ride. But I didn't mind, this was the Super Bowl we're talking about. $15 is chump change compared to the $1,000 tickets people paid to sit in the stadium's parking lot.
I found the bar easily because it was the only one open and with so many Caucasians staring at the three TVs available. I sat at the bar because I didn't reserve a table, and later found out that I was lucky to even find sitting space. Apparently all the other American bars and clubs were packed. I had missed about 10 minutes into the game. I ordered myself a drink ($16 - Singapore is crazy expensive at bars) and plugged myself into the game.
I felt good to be there cause I was in my element. One of my first real jobs was at an Irish pub and they had a great saying: strangers are only friends you hadn't met yet. Soon I was talking to everyone around me. We discussed the game, politics, business, and, of course, life in Singapore. Everyone was older and were already established with a job so I looked like the bright-eyed youngster who's taking a backpacking trip. I worked in that I was looking for a job, but did not gain any good networks protaining to my career field. However, I was quite satisfied - not about the game, cause I was rooting for the 49ers, or about my job search - but because I was able to be on my own, in a different place, with different people, and still manage to enjoy myself. I was worried that I was going to be closed up and shy, but it turns out that all you need to do is baby steps. I took one baby step out of the comfort of my grandparents house and took on a new part of the world.

Cats... Ugh!

This morning I got up early. It was warm in my room and I had to turn on the air con unit that I was hoping I would avoid using. I'm trying my best to adjust to the heat without being a spoiled American. However the common practice here is to turn on the AC when you go to sleep, so when in Rome...

After I played on my tablet for a good hour, I go to the kitchen to be greeted with "let's go to the market." (My Mama isn't the type of person who would greet you with "Hello" or "Good Morning." Its usually "Have you eaten?" (Typical Chinese saying) or a direct order to do something for her). So I wash my face, brush my teeth and get dressed to go to the wet market. In anticipation for Chinese New Year every stall has something to help celebrate the lunar new year. Mama tries to show me what she wants to do with the decorations but doesn't want to go over board. We eat, I hit the ATM, and then we're off again looking for CNY stuff.
The paths in Singapore can be quite nice because the government has most of the residential paths covered, in anticipation of rain and sunlight. Most residents walk everywhere and even the elderly. No more that a couple of yards from the apartment I notice that I almost step in cat poo... Pleasant, right? Singapore has had a major stray cat problem for years now. Most people are dog people because of that. I don't know how the cats got here, but I'm thankful that they don't mess up my allergies (I'm highly allergic to cats). So big note for the handbook:
Watch out for cat poo when your in Singapore.

Other than that, I'm doing alright so far exploring the area on foot. Might need a foot massage later though. Gosh!

Deodorant

Dated: 2 Feb 2013

Mama (my Singaporean grandmother) is getting me lunch right now while I sit at a table waiting for her. We're at a small hawker center (Singaporean outdoor cafeteria) near her apartment. I remember being here 7+ years ago and its nice to see that things still look familiar.
While I'm waiting I get an awesome cool breeze which is very much wanted because I'm sweating on my arms, legs, and forehead even in the shade. A man walks around the tables asking each person who sits down if they want a drink. I do want one but I don't have Singaporean dollars to pay him. I'll have to stop by an ATM soon.
I must say that I have missed this - the plastic dishes, the stools at the tables, the birds walking between the eating patrons. Its been very well missed.
As I prop my head up with my arm on the table I get a whiff of myself. I had forgotten an important thing here in Singapore: deodorant. Womp womp. Another thing to get used to.

The Pedestrian has gone international

I was hoping to change the blog title because my previous posts sound bitter, like an old lady with nothing to do. But since I cannot change it on my tablet, I'll just have to make do.

According to several sources, the word "pedestrian" can mean "walking person" (noun), or "dull" (adj.). I did not realize that when I first started this blog. So I'm going to create my own definition:
Pedestrian - a person getting from one place to the other without the use of a personal vehicle
With that definition in mind I give you my new blog on being a pedestrian in Singapore...